i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
