He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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