watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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