physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
