Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
