Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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