I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
