you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
