your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
