How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
