I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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