All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
