Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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