Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
