if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
