I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
