So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
