if you like me you must not know who I am
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
