we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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