I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We don't watch enough power rangers
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
