at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
that is very illegal...i love you.
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