**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
