I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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