I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize