The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
