I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
