Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
