I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm too high and old for this...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
