Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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