wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
what is it with giant penises always finding me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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