she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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