Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
