he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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