i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
