Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This is my gift to your gina
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
