ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
