I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
