We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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