I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
