It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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