It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
