Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
