ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
