matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
