yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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