I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
