I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
