Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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