i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
