She is in my trunk
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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