Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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