wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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