i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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