I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize