so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
