Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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