She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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