yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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