"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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