Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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