loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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