your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
