pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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