I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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