I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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